Random teaching thoughts

When I am working, when I am teaching, I'm not really me. I suppose that is true of all of us to an extent, but as a teacher, especially a teacher of very young kids, you really are putting on an act when the kids get there. I suppose that maybe SOME of my colleagues are genuine and they really are just being themselves, but...well, anyone who knows me and my 'real' personality know that me singing happy songs and making people feel good about themselves is a little bit unnatural for me. I'm sarcastic, and a little dark (not as dark as I like to think, Steph would say - she's probably right, too), and my humor fluctuates wildly between inappropriately immature and incoherently esoteric. Not the stuff for Kindergarteners who are just learning self-control and manners.
But I have my act down, and it has become very natural for me to fall into that place. And it's not completely 'not me' at all. I do feel good for the kid who finally 'gets' something or who shows real promise at something. I feel good being able to facilitate that moment or help a kid turn a bad day around just a little bit. I just have to be more demonstrative and overt and 'cheery' than I normally would in real life. So, as I said, it's not really me. And I sort of go through this transformation and step into the background and let "Mr. Specter" take over.
But the funny thing is this:
Every now and then, my regular, normal, everyday personality unexpectedly creeps back up into my brain and I suddenly realize what I'm doing at that moment. It's unnerving, it's freaky, it's unpleasant, and it's nearly paralyzing. I HATE it when that happens. Being a self-made Kindergarten teacher is a lot like enjoying a thick, juicy cheeseburger. You can't think too hard about how it got there or you start to realize just how icky it is and how many things are just WRONG about it. You can ruin it for yourself. Best thing to do is just keep on eating out of habit and hope that your thinking self will get lost in the routine again.
I don't know what this says about me. Nothing too bad, I think, but I welcome your thoughts on the matter.

Matt