More frustrations, more ruminations

A lot has happened since the last post. A lot of nothing.

I continue to be disappointed by administrators' lack of communication skills. I'm just old fashioned enough to feel like if someone comes into your office and talks to you about a job opening, you owe them the courtesy of an email rejection if nothing else. I don't want to harp on that, because I've never sat on the other side of the desk...but it's common courtesy. And you would especially think that people who are working at religiously-affiliated schools would have a worldview which included that level of compassion. I have been disappointed in a lot of people this month.

So, we move on. The first serious option outside of teaching has presented itself, and while it saddens me to have to consider that road, it is at least a meaningful, rewarding opportunity, and not just a desk job. We will see if anything comes of that interview in the next couple of weeks.

The recurring theme of the blog is my heartbreak over losing the possibility of long summer trips. Again, I try not to think about it, but the reality is closing in. Whatever happens, I will continue to keep that hope alive. My family's long adventures in 2007 and 2009 are etched in my memory, and the desire to get back out on another journey is a tangible need I can taste. Who knows what the future holds for us? Life is a long long road, and it remains to be seen whether my current situation is a dead-end, a detour, or an off-ramp. I hope to be back. I dearly hope for that.

In the meantime, I am faced with the brutal reality. Somewhere in the past year, my life changed from planning family trips to studying federal poverty guideline charts. Somewhere I went from talking about the beach to talking about bankruptcy. This is not the life I was expecting.

But it's my life, and it's life. And life, in all its trials and tribulations, is a beautiful thing. And this mess may get me down from time to time, and perhaps it's eating away at me more than I realize, but it will take more than this to break my spirit. I still thank the God of Heaven and Earth for the opportunity to be alive. I still have the most amazing and wonderful and incredible family...ummm...EVER. I am poor in finances but rich in everything else. Even with all the mess in my life, and the unknown, and the receding hairline...dare I say it...yeah, I do. You all wish you were me.

Take that, negativity.

Matt