Thoughts on subbing

I have now subbed twice on the blind call. Not knowing anything other than a general title, as in 'the choir director' or 'the band director'. Here are my initial impressions.

First of all, for someone like me who likes things planned, organized, and well-thought out, this experience is absolute torture. I can NOT handle not knowing my schedule until it starts. It makes the entire day seem about 5 times longer than it really is. I think I am aging quite a bit doing this.

Secondly, it is shocking to me how little anyone in the actual school even knows about the music staff's schedule. I was in three buildings today, and really no one had any idea of what I was supposed to do -- all anyone could do was to open the room for me and then it was my problem. The one building where they actually seemed confident about my duties, the people turned out to be completely wrong - I had a completely different assignment than what I was told.

Thirdly, the music teachers themselves don't leave much for me to go on. I am finding myself in the role of private detective, searching through drawers and cabinets and shelves for any hint as to my job that day. Class roster, schedule, heaven forbid an actual PLAN...nothing. Now listen. I'm not exactly the king of helpful lesson plans - in my previous position, there were days when it came down to me emailing colleagues and asking them to run plans down to the room, not leaving the sub much time. BUT, those were rare instances. I can also remember awakening with what was clearly strep and a high fever, calling in sick, realizing I had no plans and no way to get them there, and driving my sick self into work early to leave plans and materials for the sub and then driving home and collapsing. I don't care if it's just instructions to show a movie, it would be nice to know what movie and where the movies are. So, on the one hand, it's a little frustrating, but on the other hand, I know it's just the way it is.

But the main thing is this.

Subbing pretty much sucks so far.

I don't know how else to put it. Now, having only done my 5-day long term position, and a couple of single days (all of them for music positions) it is perhaps not the best indicator. I still am waiting for (and terrified of) that first regular classroom call. That might change things somewhat. I have a feeling that me in a 2nd grade classroom actually working from plans and trying to accomplish something might seem a bit more rewarding than what I've done so far. Because what I've done so far is 90% babysitting. Yes, I've done some work with some beginning band kids, and they accomplished more than they would have without me. But I hardly noticed since I spent so much of my energy trying to figure out just who was showing up when. The rest of my day...they could have had any old schmo off the street and done the same as me. It's not rewarding.

I mean, Steph asked me how it went, and I said "uneventful". And we both agreed that this was all I could ask for.

That's not a good way for me to live. A good day means nothing happened? What kind of life is this?

All I can say is that it's a REAL good thing I have my one-day-a-week actual teaching job - it's keeping me fresh and reminding me that teaching IS rewarding and enjoyable and fun...when you have your own students. And even though some of those kids are really challenging and difficult...and even though the situation has lots of issues...I am starting more and more to look forward to my one day a week being a real teacher. Because there, I AM making a difference.

I hope and pray that I can continue to have my 'own' students.

Matt