Vegetarianism Doesn't Suck that Much, #1

Now, don't let the title fool you.  I am not a vegetarian nor do I have any immediate plans to become one.  But Steph's commitment to that lifestyle and my role as primary food-preparer in the house has forced me to delve into that world.  And, as I mentioned in a previous post, I make it my business to only cook for her what I would eat myself.  So I've had to find ways to make food that doesn't completely suck for a life-long carnivore.

It's not as hard as you think.

There are a few guidelines to be explored here.  If I was organized and had time, I would present a well-organized list of things I've learned, but this is a haphazard blog from a haphazard life, so here goes the throwing of ideas against the wall, starting with meat substitutes.  I think I will do a series of my thoughts on vegetarianism as I think about them.

Meat substitutes are hit-or-miss.  Boca Burgers, Morningstar, Gardein, Quorn, Smart Sausage, there are a lot of brands, as well as a lot of varieties (tofu, seitan, etc) of ways to sub "stuff" into your recipes.  There is often no way to tell what will be good and what will not, and everyone's tastes will differ.

The first thing to realize is that any claim (from a recipe or the back of a box) that the "stuff" is indistinguishable from the real thing is a flat-out lie.  The best black bean burger is never going to fool you.  And usually, it's a matter of texture more than anything else.  That said, a lot of them are really pretty good, as long as you're not expecting the real thing.  Almost any veggie burger is going to be passable...especially if you load it up with lettuce, onion, tomato, and your other favorite toppings.  Morningstar does a lot of flavor varieties on their burgers and these are good for, well, variety.  Steph and I both are also big fans of the Morningstar buffalo wings (in actuality more like spicy chicken nuggets).  Again, often the key is to immerse them in something else.

I can remember back in my first successful weight loss regimen back around 2002, that one of my favorite lunches was a bowl full of romaine lettuce, a handful of crumbled up baked tortilla chips, 4-5 chopped up Morningstar buffalo wings, all tossed with salsa.  Buried in the other flavors and textures, the fake chicken blends in, just as it would in any restaurant salad.

But back to the original point - some you'll like, some you won't.  We tried Morningstar bacon and ended up throwing most of it out.  Maybe some things just don't translate.  But first of all, the darn thing looked like a child's drawing of bacon.  Secondly, the consistency reminded me more of a dried out Fruit Rollup...kind of a Meat Rollup gone horribly wrong.  But...the Morningstar breakfast sausage works great in a breakfast casserole, and is even perfectly edible by itself.  Again, not the same as real sausage, but it's pretty good as its own thing.  I just now tried Quorn for the first time and I'm very very impressed.  Consistency very close to chicken, with little flavor (meaning it will accept the flavor you give it and blend in).  Steph has had good experiences with SmartSausage, and I think she had some Soyrizo at some point.  But, she's never been a big fan of the crumbles that are meant to simulate ground beef.  There's no pattern to it, you just have to get out there and try everything, knowing that you'll be throwing away some food at some point.

And of course, there's the raw material.  Tofu just is never going to work in our family...or maybe I just haven't figured out the right way to do it yet.  All I know is Steph can't seem to choke the stuff down.  But, she has eaten tofu at a Thai restaurant and liked it very much.  Once again, it seems to be about drowning it in enough flavors to distract your mouth.  Seitan is better but still problematic.  We found a great recipe for fake meatballs using minced seitan, but when we tried to use it as a fajita "meat" Steph couldn't handle the slightly off flavor.  Experiment, be willing to try things in different contexts and preparations.

Recipes are also great - and the internet is full of an infinite variety of veggie burger and other substitute ideas.  Some will say that they're better than the real thing.  Whatever.  But some are so good that I usually end up having one "real" burger and one veggie concoction, just because it's good.  In the past year, I've discovered online several recipes that have become staples in our house.

BBQ Cheddar Chickpea Burgers
Black Bean Edamame Sliders
Veganomicon Chickpea Cutlets

None of these taste like real burgers or chicken breasts, but each is good enough that I have to admit, I decide to make them because I want them too.  They're just good.

So...discoveries like this tell me that even though I have no intention to stop consuming meat, I am to the point now where I can truthfully say, I COULD do it if I had to.

The other thing to realize is that sometimes, veggies can be enough.  More on that in the next post.

Matt