Ha Ha Ha

Yeah, Robby started screaming at 9:01 and things just now quieted down...at 12:15. I've got the rest of this shift, until 12:30.

At these times, it is a lot easier on me if I just stay awake. I can handle a night with no sleep a lot better than a night with 1 hour of sleep divided up into 5-minute fragments. So I have time to tool around the internet.

I suppose I've heard stories all my life about the weird connections twins sometimes have...usually it's with identical twins and really, I never thought about it much. But from day 1, when I saw Robby and Hannah lying next to each other in the hospital bassinet, turned towards each other, touching foreheads and seeming oddly calmed by each other's presence...these stories starting popping up in my head, and I've been watching the two of them with a different eye, looking for other signs of these mysterious bonds.

What I can tell you is this - at night, it's almost uncanny. First of all, Robby may be screaming his head off like a banshee for over an hour (our attempts to comfort him are doing less and less) and she doesn't move a muscle or wake up the littlest bit. And then when he finally calms down, it's like a switch, and you can hear Hannah start stirring. I know this just sounds like a 'newborn twins sleep problem' horror story, but it's eerie. It's almost like the sound of Robby NOT screaming is more disturbing to Hannah than the screaming itself.

Who knows? But we will for sure be keeping our eyes open for more of these weird connections. Anyone out there who knows if fraternal twins have been reported to have these connections, too, please feel free to leave a comment.

Matt

We ARE Still Here...

...but as you can imagine, there's not much time to spend organizing and typing thoughts. It's 8:55pm, and all the kids are asleep...we actually got the twins down to bed smoothly tonight. None of us are arrogant enough to assume that we will do as well tomorrow, or that they won't both be screaming again at 9:00, but small victories are fine for now.

The pace isn't frantic, but it is constant motion. And the logistics of feeding two is like some sick logic puzzle. One day at a time...one night at a time.

God bless...
Matt

Public Service Announcement

This is your brain.


This is your brain on twins.


Any questions?

First Night

10pm. The parade of visitors has passed by, and now it's just us.

So far, so good. Both babies are feeding well. Steph is recovering decently, was able to stand up for the first time an hour or so ago...with a little help.

This is a stressful time. It's not so much the lack of sleep that I'm about to go through, it's the unknowns. We don't know Hannah and Robby's signals yet. We don't have a routine down yet. It's going to take time, and the complications of twins will make it take even longer. So this is far beyond taking it one day at a time, this is taking it 5 minutes at a time.

A few more pics:

Dr. McSweaty


Hannah and Robby

TWINS ARE HERE!!!

Hannah and Robby arrived at 10:21am on May 7, 2008!!!

Robby weighed 7lb 6oz and Hannah weighed 6lb 10oz - that's 14lb of baby.

Everyone is doing great. No time for deep thoughts right now, but here are a few pics:

Some pics

Last family of 4 picture:

A new shirt:

Belly pic:

Here we are:

Song Lyrics on the Final Night

"So where do we begin,
and what else can we say?
When the lines are all drawn,
What should we do today?"

- Fates Warning, "A Pleasant Shade of Gray"

So here we are. Months of preparation leading up to a life-altering event. Nights of tears, of Steph saying "I don't know how I'm going to make it 3 more months..." then "3 more weeks" then "3 more days". We've done everything we could humanly do to set things in order. And tomorrow at this time, our reality will be completely different. Tonight is the last night of a chapter of our lives.

And while I try to be deep and philosophical, total surreal Monty Python absurdity just busted out upstairs. Everyone is supposed to be in bed, but Mari is doing her crazy insane laugh at the top of her lungs, Faith just shouted out "I POOPED!" from the potty, I started cracking up, Steph came running to figure out what all the fuss was, and Faith calmly explained to her that "Daddy is making a joke about my poop and you are freaking out about it."

Now, where was I?

Oh yes...I was going to make some dorky reference to a scene in "The Two Towers" where they're getting ready for the final battle at Helm's Deep, and compare it to our current situation. Thank goodness the mood has been ruined, that would have been totally lame.

But, song lyrics...taken totally out of context:

"Armed with will and determination
And grace, too...
Armed with skill and its frustration,
And grace, too"

- The Tragically Hip, "Grace, Too"

This is how I feel. No one can totally prepare themselves for what's about to happen, but you can enter it with the right attitude. I have will, I have determination. Big challenges have always brought out the best in me. Little things like losing my keys can totally ruin my day, but when I know the big stuff is coming, I have always (with God's help) been able to make that subtle shift inside which turns the idea of a "challenge" into something positive. I often say at times like this...I'm going to be looking back and remembering this time for the rest of my life. It will either be my darkest hour, or something I can be proud of - a time that I defined who I was. What's it gonna be?

I have skill - I've done the baby thing twice now - never twice at once...but craziness which is born out of familiarity is a surmountable obstacle. I have, and will have, frustration. I'm not making it through this thing without losing my cool once or twice or fifty times.

But, I have grace. In both definitions of the word. I have God's grace, without which I could not have made it this far. I also have grace in the sense that I am going to let this thing take me where it will, not fight it, and even if there are times when I want to pull my hair out or run screaming or drive off into the night, that's all part of a bigger picture which I will not lose sight of. I have the sense to know that now, of all times, I am not in control, and I must turn over the keys, the map, and the itinerary to God and trust that he will guide us through this unthinkable wonder:

"I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward. Though the road may wind, yea, your hearts grow weary, still shall ye follow them, even unto your salvation."

(okay, that's not a song, that's from "O Brother Where Art Thou" but give me a break, it's a weird night)

Well, it's 9 o clock. I have one more night of uninterrupted sleep. I better get to it.

Thanks for all the support over the last few weeks especially - we really couldn't have done it without the extra help. Expect news and pics sometime tomorrow - remember us in your thoughts and prayers - God bless.

This song by Fernando Ortega has been a real comfort to me in recent weeks. I share it with you now, in closing:

"Take heart, my friend, we'll go together
This uncertain road that lies ahead
Our faithful God has always gone before
And He will lead the way once again

Take heart, my friend, we can walk together
And if our burdens become too great
We can hold up and help one another
In God's love, in God's grace

Take heart my friend, the Lord is with us
As He has been all the days of our lives
Our assurance every morning
Our defender in the night

If we should falter when trouble surrounds us
When the wind and the waves are wild and high
We will look away to Him who rules the waters;
Who speaks His peace into the angry tide

He is our comfort, our sustainer
He is our help in time of need
When we wander, He is our Shepherd
He who watches over us never sleeps

Take heart my friend, the Lord is with us
As He has been all the days of our lives
Our assurance every morning
Our defender in the night..."

Fernando Ortega - "Take Heart My Friend"

Video Test Post

Well, I tried to upload a video to the blog directly, but it's not working. So, we'll go the YouTube route. Here's a short but funny video of Mari (aka Tookie). Enjoy!!!

The Last Day

Today is the last day. The mood in the house is changing - I don't know about Steph, but the realization of what's about to happen is starting to wash over me. It's harder to think about other things.

I expect we'll both post a little bit more tonight. Remains to be seen whether Steph will be willing to post a 'final night' belly pic...

Matt

King's Island and Kebabs

Dad took the girls to King's Island today...he's a brave soul. Apparently they did a great job, although Mari was a little bummed out because she's still JUST an inch too short to ride a few of the rides. We were sorry that we couldn't make it, but uninterrupted preparation time is something we can't pass up. So, in the course of the day, we managed to clean out and vaccuum both cars, rearrange all the carseats and booster seats for the coming of the twins, finally get all the junk cleaned out of the living room, and still have time for what may be our final dinner out for a long long time with just the 2 of us. Went to the new Mediterranean place at ATC (I think it's actually Turkish), and had some really good stuff. Ordered an appetizer of borek - read about the one from Turkey - but imagine it rolled up like a taquito instead. Oh my yum. And then Steph ordered the best thing I've had since carne adovada in Santa Fe last summer. It was called Iskender Kebab and it was absolutely heavenly. I only got to eat one bite of hers and I can still taste it. Wow wow wow!

ANYWAY...we highly recommend this dish. Put it on the list of things I want to learn to cook, along with Saag Paneer.

Matt